Letting go

It's hard to let go. Its hard to let universe take over. It's hard to balance ego and self respect. Ego tells me, you have to do everything by yourself. Universe tells me let nature take it's course. If I don't do enough, i feel stagnant. If i try too hard, apparently i am being a control freak. Which i am, no doubt there. It's the search for balance that keep creating imbalance and then for another thought it feels like the imbalance is there to teach me balance. What is balance, at this point i have no idea. What is enough, i don't know. I have been trying to know so much so hard that not knowing has become an issue. Not knowing feels empty but the irony is the more you know, the more you realize there is so much more to know. It's hard to know that you know nothing and there's nothing i can do about about it. Life used to be simple when i didn't know that i don't know anything.